Heart Over Hype: True Friendship

Use this curriculum to help you further engage with the sermon, the scriptures, and each other. Allow the Holy Spirit to bring things up to encourage and guide you so that you are always growing in your faith. If the Spirit leads you away from these questions and into conversation and prayer that encourages and points you to Jesus, go for it.

scripture

Read the following scriptures together: 1 Samuel 20.

overview

David is overwhelmed and confused, searching for answers as to why Saul wants him dead as well as wondering how God’s plans for his future will come about. Before escaping his home, job, and the people he loves, David risks his life and goes to find his closest friend, Jonathan. He was honest with Jonathan about his fears and doubts, and Jonathan did not say to him “I’ve already gone to my father on your behalf – what else do you want from me?” Instead, he says in verse 4: “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you.”

question 1

In your own friendships, are you able to be vulnerable and ask for help, or do you tend to close yourself off and figure it all out on your own? Share why the latter is most often the case with people.

discussion

Read Matthew 10:37-39. Jonathan vows to protect and help David rather than trying to please his father or secure his own position as the future king. We see in Jonathan a man who chooses to honor God even when it costs him something – he accepts God’s plan instead of fighting it. He couldn’t change his father’s evil and envious heart, but he could choose to walk in his own devotion to God and honor God above family. This takes courage and a mind set on pleasing God over pleasing family or self. 

question 2

Has there been a time in your life where you had to choose God’s plan and honor him? Did it cost you personal comfort, a position, or the approval of those closest to you?

Read John 15:12-17. Jonathan and David model what a God-honoring friendship looks like. It’s one without envy, filled with love and devotion to another, and a willingness to set aside one’s own plans to be ready to help. A loving and devoted friendship today isn’t about constant contact. It is built on a foundation of safety, consistency, and actively showing up. We are not asked to be at others’ disposal 24/7, but we are asked to love others with a love that costs us something. It might cost us our time when someone is going through something and needs a friend to sit and pray with, and it might cost us our preferences when we rearrange our own schedule and put someone else’s needs before our own. 

question 3

Share some qualities of what a loving and devoted friendship looks like to us today. What are the small sacrifices we could make to cultivate a friendship like this?

weekly application

Take some time to evaluate what kind of friend you are to your current friends and to your church community. Ask God to show you a way you can grow as a more devoted and loving friend.